Friday, October 9, 2009
Will Be Late...
I am just letting you all know that my next post on this blog will be late, I will try to get it on here this weekend, and if I do not, I will get it on Monday. Sorry for the delay...
Friday, October 2, 2009
Patience
As I was thinking about what to write today, the thought occurred to me that patience is a lost virtue in much of America today. We have a very fast life style, we always must be doing something. If a television screen does not change scenes every 3 seconds, 78% of the people watching will change the channel, the fast food industry is one of the biggest industries in the country. We are always moving.
Now, don't get me wrong, I know that people are busy, and have things to get done, it always seems that we are trying to make the day longer, but sometimes we just need to stop. I can tell you for a fact that if you stop and take a rest at least once a week (weekends?) then you will be far more capable of getting things done the rest of the week. In our society, the mentality is "get everything now" credit cards, for one, get it now, pay later. But if we would stop, if we would just slow down, then we would be able to enjoy life at a whole new level.
The thing that makes stories like Pride and Prejudice, You've Got Mail, and Beauty and the Beast so romantic is that these women needed to be won, wooed, they took time to open their hearts. They were not "playing hard to get" the were hard to get. Do you want to be romanced? Do you want a Man, who is not a little boy? Patience, diligence, hard work, those things are all required. If a 16 year old has to work hard, and save money to buy their first car, what does it produce in them? If you are willing to wait for that new sweater, how much more will you enjoy wearing it when you do have it?
Now, don't get me wrong, I know that people are busy, and have things to get done, it always seems that we are trying to make the day longer, but sometimes we just need to stop. I can tell you for a fact that if you stop and take a rest at least once a week (weekends?) then you will be far more capable of getting things done the rest of the week. In our society, the mentality is "get everything now" credit cards, for one, get it now, pay later. But if we would stop, if we would just slow down, then we would be able to enjoy life at a whole new level.
The thing that makes stories like Pride and Prejudice, You've Got Mail, and Beauty and the Beast so romantic is that these women needed to be won, wooed, they took time to open their hearts. They were not "playing hard to get" the were hard to get. Do you want to be romanced? Do you want a Man, who is not a little boy? Patience, diligence, hard work, those things are all required. If a 16 year old has to work hard, and save money to buy their first car, what does it produce in them? If you are willing to wait for that new sweater, how much more will you enjoy wearing it when you do have it?
What we are after here is far more than just getting through life as fast as possible and gaining as much as you can when you can, but it is the noble idea that you can enjoy life no matter where you are, that you can bring sophistication to a shabby apartment and maybe even have more fun there than you would in your fabulous flat in Park Avenue. When at work it is about being patient as you wait on people and letting them get it to you when they have it done (though you do not need to condone laziness) and smiling at them when they do. I will say it once again that it is our main goal to bring joy to other people.
What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of story do you want to have? How do you want to live life? What I am talking about here, when practiced can build a character and stability in you that nothing else can, it will enable you to do things that you never could before, to handle situations and people that would have been impossible. This is not just an idea it is a way of life, it is a foundation, it is a choice to rise above, and it is worth it.
What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of story do you want to have? How do you want to live life? What I am talking about here, when practiced can build a character and stability in you that nothing else can, it will enable you to do things that you never could before, to handle situations and people that would have been impossible. This is not just an idea it is a way of life, it is a foundation, it is a choice to rise above, and it is worth it.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Communication Part 2
I want to start for apologizing for my neglect of this blog, I am going to work harder at getting a new entry in every week.
I believe that we were on the subject of communication, I want to start with e-mail etiquette. This one is tricky because we can all to easily get carried away in the casualness of this form. When I write e-mails at work I always try to be pleasant and nice, but remember that this is a business. Instead of starting with "Hi" use their name, like you would in a letter, but without the "Dear" part. The body of this e-mail should contain only the business information, but if you would like to add a personal touch you can wish them a good day, or weekend, or something of the sort.
Now, personal e-mail is a completely different category. This is just basic communication between friends, however there is still a way in which it is to be done. I have a rule, never write something in an e-mail that you would not say to their face, or that you would not want other people to know. Though this type of e-mail is private, it can all too easily be viewed by a third party. Keep it polite.
One other thing on e-mail before we move on is that it is always better to use proper grammar. It seems to be a trend these days to e-mail someone using only small letters, but I will tell you that this is not the best idea. You see, if you are not in the habit of using proper grammar, there may come a time that you will not remember where that silly semi-colon goes. Also I will point out that good grammar is a mark of your education, and it can in fact affect your status in many circles.
The next thing that I would like to discuss is face to face communication. This is a very large topic, and I do not know that I will be able to get to all of it in this post. Face to face communication is not only the most common, most necessary, and most effective way of communication, it is also many times the hardest. When being lady like in company I would say that the most important thing to be aware of is your body language. Body language is 80% of what you communicate. This includes how you move, what your face is saying, the implication in your voice; it is a combination of many things. My first point is that you should always smile, not necessarily the entire conversation (especially if it is serious or tragic) but when you first greet the person with whom you are talking just smile, it is an immediate welcome and helps people to let their guard down.
You know the most important thing when talking to someone is that you make them feel important, it is sincerity, and humility. Though good posture is important (for both health and appearance) and working on your vocabulary is a good idea, it is a better idea to be kind. I remember that Jimmy Stewart once said in a movie of his "You can go through life being clever or being pleasant, well I was cleaver for a lot of years and I do recommend pleasant." I love this quote, it really embodies what I am trying to convey. Being a lady has much more to do with character than it does with appearance, education, or anything else. It is all about how you view other people, if you view them as in fact more important than yourself, then will you truly understand what this whole thing is about. That being said, there are boundaries that you have to maintain. You cannot allow people to walk over you, as much for their sake as your own. If they are allowed to control you, then they will never be able to control themselves. (Please remember that much of what I say is a generalization, and that there are some specific cases that differ) But I have gotten off of the original topic, which is to effectively communicate with other people. As you can see from above, I do not believe in reading in between the lines, I am not good at it, nor do I expect other people to understand something different than what I have told them. I believe that tactful bluntness is the best way to go. You must be nice, or they will not hear what you have to say, however if you do not tell them up front you leave it to fate that they will understand at all.
I think that I have said enough on this topic for today, I sincerely wish you all a good week, and am honored that I am able in any way to teach a little of what I know. One last point that I wish to make is that though this is not a fairy tale, the point of life really is love. Love of each other, those around you, those who you can touch, and for me, the love of Christ which keeps me going ever closer to my destiny.
I believe that we were on the subject of communication, I want to start with e-mail etiquette. This one is tricky because we can all to easily get carried away in the casualness of this form. When I write e-mails at work I always try to be pleasant and nice, but remember that this is a business. Instead of starting with "Hi" use their name, like you would in a letter, but without the "Dear" part. The body of this e-mail should contain only the business information, but if you would like to add a personal touch you can wish them a good day, or weekend, or something of the sort.
Now, personal e-mail is a completely different category. This is just basic communication between friends, however there is still a way in which it is to be done. I have a rule, never write something in an e-mail that you would not say to their face, or that you would not want other people to know. Though this type of e-mail is private, it can all too easily be viewed by a third party. Keep it polite.
One other thing on e-mail before we move on is that it is always better to use proper grammar. It seems to be a trend these days to e-mail someone using only small letters, but I will tell you that this is not the best idea. You see, if you are not in the habit of using proper grammar, there may come a time that you will not remember where that silly semi-colon goes. Also I will point out that good grammar is a mark of your education, and it can in fact affect your status in many circles.
The next thing that I would like to discuss is face to face communication. This is a very large topic, and I do not know that I will be able to get to all of it in this post. Face to face communication is not only the most common, most necessary, and most effective way of communication, it is also many times the hardest. When being lady like in company I would say that the most important thing to be aware of is your body language. Body language is 80% of what you communicate. This includes how you move, what your face is saying, the implication in your voice; it is a combination of many things. My first point is that you should always smile, not necessarily the entire conversation (especially if it is serious or tragic) but when you first greet the person with whom you are talking just smile, it is an immediate welcome and helps people to let their guard down.
You know the most important thing when talking to someone is that you make them feel important, it is sincerity, and humility. Though good posture is important (for both health and appearance) and working on your vocabulary is a good idea, it is a better idea to be kind. I remember that Jimmy Stewart once said in a movie of his "You can go through life being clever or being pleasant, well I was cleaver for a lot of years and I do recommend pleasant." I love this quote, it really embodies what I am trying to convey. Being a lady has much more to do with character than it does with appearance, education, or anything else. It is all about how you view other people, if you view them as in fact more important than yourself, then will you truly understand what this whole thing is about. That being said, there are boundaries that you have to maintain. You cannot allow people to walk over you, as much for their sake as your own. If they are allowed to control you, then they will never be able to control themselves. (Please remember that much of what I say is a generalization, and that there are some specific cases that differ) But I have gotten off of the original topic, which is to effectively communicate with other people. As you can see from above, I do not believe in reading in between the lines, I am not good at it, nor do I expect other people to understand something different than what I have told them. I believe that tactful bluntness is the best way to go. You must be nice, or they will not hear what you have to say, however if you do not tell them up front you leave it to fate that they will understand at all.
I think that I have said enough on this topic for today, I sincerely wish you all a good week, and am honored that I am able in any way to teach a little of what I know. One last point that I wish to make is that though this is not a fairy tale, the point of life really is love. Love of each other, those around you, those who you can touch, and for me, the love of Christ which keeps me going ever closer to my destiny.
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