Communication Part 2

I want to start for apologizing for my neglect of this blog, I am going to work harder at getting a new entry in every week.
I believe that we were on the subject of communication, I want to start with e-mail etiquette. This one is tricky because we can all to easily get carried away in the casualness of this form. When I write e-mails at work I always try to be pleasant and nice, but remember that this is a business. Instead of starting with "Hi" use their name, like you would in a letter, but without the "Dear" part. The body of this e-mail should contain only the business information, but if you would like to add a personal touch you can wish them a good day, or weekend, or something of the sort.
Now, personal e-mail is a completely different category. This is just basic communication between friends, however there is still a way in which it is to be done. I have a rule, never write something in an e-mail that you would not say to their face, or that you would not want other people to know. Though this type of e-mail is private, it can all too easily be viewed by a third party. Keep it polite.
One other thing on e-mail before we move on is that it is always better to use proper grammar. It seems to be a trend these days to e-mail someone using only small letters, but I will tell you that this is not the best idea. You see, if you are not in the habit of using proper grammar, there may come a time that you will not remember where that silly semi-colon goes. Also I will point out that good grammar is a mark of your education, and it can in fact affect your status in many circles.
The next thing that I would like to discuss is face to face communication. This is a very large topic, and I do not know that I will be able to get to all of it in this post. Face to face communication is not only the most common, most necessary, and most effective way of communication, it is also many times the hardest. When being lady like in company I would say that the most important thing to be aware of is your body language. Body language is 80% of what you communicate. This includes how you move, what your face is saying, the implication in your voice; it is a combination of many things. My first point is that you should always smile, not necessarily the entire conversation (especially if it is serious or tragic) but when you first greet the person with whom you are talking just smile, it is an immediate welcome and helps people to let their guard down.
You know the most important thing when talking to someone is that you make them feel important, it is sincerity, and humility. Though good posture is important (for both health and appearance) and working on your vocabulary is a good idea, it is a better idea to be kind. I remember that Jimmy Stewart once said in a movie of his "You can go through life being clever or being pleasant, well I was cleaver for a lot of years and I do recommend pleasant." I love this quote, it really embodies what I am trying to convey. Being a lady has much more to do with character than it does with appearance, education, or anything else. It is all about how you view other people, if you view them as in fact more important than yourself, then will you truly understand what this whole thing is about. That being said, there are boundaries that you have to maintain. You cannot allow people to walk over you, as much for their sake as your own. If they are allowed to control you, then they will never be able to control themselves. (Please remember that much of what I say is a generalization, and that there are some specific cases that differ) But I have gotten off of the original topic, which is to effectively communicate with other people. As you can see from above, I do not believe in reading in between the lines, I am not good at it, nor do I expect other people to understand something different than what I have told them. I believe that tactful bluntness is the best way to go. You must be nice, or they will not hear what you have to say, however if you do not tell them up front you leave it to fate that they will understand at all.
I think that I have said enough on this topic for today, I sincerely wish you all a good week, and am honored that I am able in any way to teach a little of what I know. One last point that I wish to make is that though this is not a fairy tale, the point of life really is love. Love of each other, those around you, those who you can touch, and for me, the love of Christ which keeps me going ever closer to my destiny.

Communication Part 1

One thing that is very important in any ones life is communication, this especially goes for a Lady. If being a lady means that you make the people around you more comfortable, then it is important that they are easily able to give and get information to and from you. A lady should always be well informed, and she should be open and easy about her life. Keep people informed, if you are going to be out of town, let a few people know, and then inform them when you get back.
There are many ways of communication, most common now is usually e-mail or phone calls or texting, (while I do not condone texting in normal situations, it is useful for quick communication while at work or somewhere loud) however, this was not always the case. Fifty years ago the most common way to talk to someone was to write. This is one of my personal favorites, I love writing, even if it seems old fashioned. Luckily, I have people who also prefer writing. Though in many cases it is impractical because it takes at least two days for the other party to receive the letter, it is in my mind and heart, the most sophisticated way to communicate.
A woman's writing stationary has always been a sign of her financial situation, her sophistication, her personality, and her taste, even sometimes her education. It is smaller than the paper that we now use, and often heavier. though there should not be detracting decorations all over the place, a little embellishment can be quite pretty and in good taste. A good choice is a flower in the corner, or your initials.
I feel that I must say something about phone etiquette. To most people this is becoming less and less of a consideration, but the standard is still the same. Do not call before 8, or after 9 (sometimes 10). When you are on the phone with someone do not engage in another conversation with someone else in the room, when this is necessary, say "excuse me" to the person on the phone, take care of business quickly, and then continue with the phone conversation. When having a conversation with someone in the same room it is rude to answer the phone. I understand that sometimes it is unavoidable, when this is the case the same rules apply, say "excuse me" make the call short and sweet, and then attentively go back to the prominent conversation.
Unfortunately, this is all that I have time for today, but I will return to this subject next week, and cover face to face, and e-mail etiquette. Have a lovely week!

Manners

In today's world, manners seem to be old fashioned. This is very sad, as they used to be so emphasized that they could make or break a family, a marriage, a fortune, in short a life. I have said before that the definition of a Lady is: One who makes others around them more comfortable. This is the point of manners.
Manners are not miscellaneous rules in order to make life hard and the people who use them stuck up, they are in fact to make everyone more comfortable. An example is that when setting the table you place the sharp side of the knife toward the plate, this is not to be confusing, but is meant to be a precaution against someone cutting themselves as they sit down to dinner. Another one is that a Lady does not swear. She always uses kind language, this is not to say however, that she cannot make a point, but you do not have to be insulting someone to make that point.
I have heard it said that "chivalry has died, and women killed it." To an extent this is true. Unfortunately, during the feminist movement women decided that a man offering them help was insulting, thus men in order to be polite, gave up on good manners. There is however, a counter to that sad tale, and that is to yet again become ladies, and call our men to the standard of gentlemen. This means that when a man offers to open the door for you, accept it graciously. When he offers to lift the heavy box, let him. You must understand that this has nothing whatsoever to do with weather or not you can lift the box, and everything to do with the fact that men, in fact, are stronger, and should lift the box. No one doubts that you could do it, it is just a bit of the old noble role of the man and women showing through.
There is much more on this subject that I could say, but for now I leave you with this one tip, look for ways to make other people more comfortable, and you will be viewed as a lady.