One thing that is very important in any ones life is communication, this especially goes for a Lady. If being a lady means that you make the people around you more comfortable, then it is important that they are easily able to give and get information to and from you. A lady should always be well informed, and she should be open and easy about her life. Keep people informed, if you are going to be out of town, let a few people know, and then inform them when you get back.
There are many ways of communication, most common now is usually e-mail or phone calls or texting, (while I do not condone texting in normal situations, it is useful for quick communication while at work or somewhere loud) however, this was not always the case. Fifty years ago the most common way to talk to someone was to write. This is one of my personal favorites, I love writing, even if it seems old fashioned. Luckily, I have people who also prefer writing. Though in many cases it is impractical because it takes at least two days for the other party to receive the letter, it is in my mind and heart, the most sophisticated way to communicate.
A woman's writing stationary has always been a sign of her financial situation, her sophistication, her personality, and her taste, even sometimes her education. It is smaller than the paper that we now use, and often heavier. though there should not be detracting decorations all over the place, a little embellishment can be quite pretty and in good taste. A good choice is a flower in the corner, or your initials.
I feel that I must say something about phone etiquette. To most people this is becoming less and less of a consideration, but the standard is still the same. Do not call before 8, or after 9 (sometimes 10). When you are on the phone with someone do not engage in another conversation with someone else in the room, when this is necessary, say "excuse me" to the person on the phone, take care of business quickly, and then continue with the phone conversation. When having a conversation with someone in the same room it is rude to answer the phone. I understand that sometimes it is unavoidable, when this is the case the same rules apply, say "excuse me" make the call short and sweet, and then attentively go back to the prominent conversation.
Unfortunately, this is all that I have time for today, but I will return to this subject next week, and cover face to face, and e-mail etiquette. Have a lovely week!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Manners
In today's world, manners seem to be old fashioned. This is very sad, as they used to be so emphasized that they could make or break a family, a marriage, a fortune, in short a life. I have said before that the definition of a Lady is: One who makes others around them more comfortable. This is the point of manners.
Manners are not miscellaneous rules in order to make life hard and the people who use them stuck up, they are in fact to make everyone more comfortable. An example is that when setting the table you place the sharp side of the knife toward the plate, this is not to be confusing, but is meant to be a precaution against someone cutting themselves as they sit down to dinner. Another one is that a Lady does not swear. She always uses kind language, this is not to say however, that she cannot make a point, but you do not have to be insulting someone to make that point.
I have heard it said that "chivalry has died, and women killed it." To an extent this is true. Unfortunately, during the feminist movement women decided that a man offering them help was insulting, thus men in order to be polite, gave up on good manners. There is however, a counter to that sad tale, and that is to yet again become ladies, and call our men to the standard of gentlemen. This means that when a man offers to open the door for you, accept it graciously. When he offers to lift the heavy box, let him. You must understand that this has nothing whatsoever to do with weather or not you can lift the box, and everything to do with the fact that men, in fact, are stronger, and should lift the box. No one doubts that you could do it, it is just a bit of the old noble role of the man and women showing through.
There is much more on this subject that I could say, but for now I leave you with this one tip, look for ways to make other people more comfortable, and you will be viewed as a lady.
Manners are not miscellaneous rules in order to make life hard and the people who use them stuck up, they are in fact to make everyone more comfortable. An example is that when setting the table you place the sharp side of the knife toward the plate, this is not to be confusing, but is meant to be a precaution against someone cutting themselves as they sit down to dinner. Another one is that a Lady does not swear. She always uses kind language, this is not to say however, that she cannot make a point, but you do not have to be insulting someone to make that point.
I have heard it said that "chivalry has died, and women killed it." To an extent this is true. Unfortunately, during the feminist movement women decided that a man offering them help was insulting, thus men in order to be polite, gave up on good manners. There is however, a counter to that sad tale, and that is to yet again become ladies, and call our men to the standard of gentlemen. This means that when a man offers to open the door for you, accept it graciously. When he offers to lift the heavy box, let him. You must understand that this has nothing whatsoever to do with weather or not you can lift the box, and everything to do with the fact that men, in fact, are stronger, and should lift the box. No one doubts that you could do it, it is just a bit of the old noble role of the man and women showing through.
There is much more on this subject that I could say, but for now I leave you with this one tip, look for ways to make other people more comfortable, and you will be viewed as a lady.
Monday, August 17, 2009
An Apology
Well, I am going to start this one by apologizing for the face that it is up on Monday and not Friday. Unfortunately I was delayed in writing it here, and I could not get on another computer. However, some good has come of this, for it has given me an excellent topic for this weeks blog, and that is "When and How to Apologize"
When: when you were wrong in a situation is a good place to start, but it is also a good idea to apologize for an accident, or for something that you did not mean to do. Sometimes we are even rite in an argument (or something of the like) and on that premise we hurt someone, or make them feel inferior. All of those things are good reasons to apologize to someone.
How: The particulars on this one depend solely on the situation, and can be different every time, but there are some basic principles that apply to every one. The first is that you apologize quickly, in fact you apologize as soon as you find out that there is a problem (unless it is in the middle of the night, then you wait until morning, after 8:00 am) I know that this can be hard, however, even if you are dreading it, the sooner you do it, the sooner it is done. This also lets the other people involved know that you care enough about them to resolve the problem quickly. Second is that when you apologize, you always do it humbly, you never apologize and talk down to them at the same time, that would defeat the purpose. Third, if you have a reason for saying or doing what you did, in most cases you simply state why it happened and leave it at that. There are some cases however, where this "reason" would be seen as an excuse and would be better left unsaid. Forth is that you are always sincere when you apologize to someone. This is important because if you are not, then it is dishonest to say that you are sorry, and they can most likely see through it. And finally, number five, you must really do what you say that you are going to do. I have mentioned before that someones word used to be considered their gold, the same holds true here, if you are apologizing to someone and you say that you will never do that again, take care that you don't. What people see you doing says more than what you can ever tell them. If you promise to buy them a new vase, then it is probably best to go and buy one within that week. This one thing I promise you will heal more relationships than any amout of flattery ever could.
Proverv: A kind word turns away wrath.
When: when you were wrong in a situation is a good place to start, but it is also a good idea to apologize for an accident, or for something that you did not mean to do. Sometimes we are even rite in an argument (or something of the like) and on that premise we hurt someone, or make them feel inferior. All of those things are good reasons to apologize to someone.
How: The particulars on this one depend solely on the situation, and can be different every time, but there are some basic principles that apply to every one. The first is that you apologize quickly, in fact you apologize as soon as you find out that there is a problem (unless it is in the middle of the night, then you wait until morning, after 8:00 am) I know that this can be hard, however, even if you are dreading it, the sooner you do it, the sooner it is done. This also lets the other people involved know that you care enough about them to resolve the problem quickly. Second is that when you apologize, you always do it humbly, you never apologize and talk down to them at the same time, that would defeat the purpose. Third, if you have a reason for saying or doing what you did, in most cases you simply state why it happened and leave it at that. There are some cases however, where this "reason" would be seen as an excuse and would be better left unsaid. Forth is that you are always sincere when you apologize to someone. This is important because if you are not, then it is dishonest to say that you are sorry, and they can most likely see through it. And finally, number five, you must really do what you say that you are going to do. I have mentioned before that someones word used to be considered their gold, the same holds true here, if you are apologizing to someone and you say that you will never do that again, take care that you don't. What people see you doing says more than what you can ever tell them. If you promise to buy them a new vase, then it is probably best to go and buy one within that week. This one thing I promise you will heal more relationships than any amout of flattery ever could.
Proverv: A kind word turns away wrath.
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